THE TACOMIC


PHOENIX JONES vs. MATT DRISCOLL

AND The Rain City Super-hero Movement's Struggle Against the Seattle Weekly
posted Feb 19, 2013
Who watches the watchmen? PHOENIX JONES or Matt Driscoll?
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GREETINGS TRUE BELIEVERS!  A REAL-LIFE TACOMIC RIPPED FROM THE SEATTLE WEEKLY HEADLINES! CAN YOUR MIND PROCESS THE SHOCKING REALITY OF WORKING CLASS REAL-LIFE SUPERHEROES JUST TRYING TO DO THEIR JOB TO CATCH A RAPIST WHILE TACOMANIAN INTERLOPER MATT DRISCOLL BELITTLES THE GOOD WORK OF PHOENIX JONES AND HIS BRAVE HERO HENCHMEN? VERILY!  WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THAT MATT DRISCOLL? EXCELSIOR!

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by NineInchNachos on 2/19/2013 @ 1:30am
meanwhile...

seattletimes.com/html/localnews/20203378...

www.npr.org/2012/04/06/150128344/faith-i...

www.justice.gov/opa/pr/2012/July/12-crt-...

by NineInchNachos on 2/19/2013 @ 7:59am
comment prospector!

Paul Schrag Because
I don't have time or talent to to write anything nearly this good, I
offer the words of two of my favorite Internet personas. First is some
guy from the comments section at Seattle Weekly, who has the best screen
name ever. Next is an epic rant by the head honcho over at a real blog, FuckingHater.com. For the record, I think Phoenix Jones is a douche.

"I'm
not from here. Is he a real person, or like a fraternity mascot or
something? We had a guy like him where I lived in Georgia, except he had
brain damage when he was born, and went all over the place picking up
cans and stuff. His name was Gary. Is Phoenix Jones like that, but like
he's a superhero?" Sexualbraveheart

"
It's not about some poor, unfortunate persecuted weirdo in a rubber
costume who wants to be the black Batman. It's about a quality
journalist who may have possibly insinuated an oxymoronic moral
character flaw and questioned his not-so-veiled public threat of illegal
vigilante justice against an unnamed person of interest in the on-going
investigation of a sexual predator. Because some guy running around
fist-fighting douche bag fratboys in front of cops decked out in S&M
gear who also hands out fliers at Northgate Mall is way more credible
than a journalist and family man grinding out a living writing bylines
for Seattle's #2 weekly newspaper. Yeah. Driscoll's the asshole. Not the
plethora of idiots in the court of public opinion also known as the
comments section. Plus, he's a Broncos fan. That's old school AFC West
traitor shit, and he should be hung by his toenails until he swears
undying allegiance to silicone codpieces, mixed martial arts HDTV
masturbation on Fox, and the Seahawks. Grow the fuck up Seattle. I'm
sorry Windows sucks so much you all have to use Macs and feel guilty
about it. Find something better to do with yr time than shit on Matt
with hyperbole and speculation of the man's moral character. Matt didn't
disregard the savage brutality of the latest attacks, he called into
question the validity of a self-serving PR campaign from some sublime
brigand who thinks he's somehow above the law by merely existing to
enthrall the apathetic masses bored by reality television while
simultaneously fulfilling his childhood comic book fetish. I read comics
as a kid and wished I had superpowers too. But I don't, and I'm pretty
sure if I did have them, they wouldn't apex at pepper spray, tazers and
well-designed online smear campaigns by my fanboys." Jim Jiliker



by NineInchNachos on 2/19/2013 @ 8:13am
why not get paid to fight crime? www.thenewstribune.com/2013/02/19/248058...


by NineInchNachos on 2/19/2013 @ 11:01am
www.komonews.com/news/local/Seattle-supe...


by troysworktable on 2/22/2013 @ 10:27pm
What Jim Jiliker said above!