SCATS


SCATS doesn't use Flash

posted Jun 24, 2010
Schticky Comedian Against Totalitarian Software
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I totally wish I could say this was made up but, yeah, not so much. Seriously, I don't want to spend a half hour sliding my mouse around on your homepage looking for the clever five pixels that make up your primary navigation only to have my speakers unexpectedly violated by Sound_Effect_143.wav and a massive animated reveal lurch across the screen at 3 frames per second reminding me I need duel SLI video cards just to find your hours and phone number.

If friends have the kind of reaction our green frog friend did I highly recommend swerving away from any kind of impassioned rant about the issue du jour when out on a date. At least not for the first few anyway or unless you're completely certain the other person is totally on board. Signs they're not include wandering gaze, frequent interruptions to get away to the restroom (otherwise known as a texting-their-friend-about-the-freak-their-with time) or them plunging a blade into their gut hara-kiri style. That last one is probably the least subtle and, if missed, really means you should step down from the Everest-height soapbox 'cause the lack of oxygen up there is impairing your sense of decency toward other human beings.

Worst, however, may be to have the rant turned back on you and escalated to the point that you then feel threatened or challenged. Instead of seeing it as a sign of a Match.com made in heaven you manage to fuck things up by snorting your polite agreement then play a game of one-up the intellectual equal to the point where passion turns to being a complete prick never willing to say "uncle". Women dig that.

Personally I can't wait to grow old so I can spew this sort of stuff and it's taken either as sage wisdom or the ramblings of someone who stuck his tongue to one too many 9-volt batteries when he was a kid.

K^F

by Nick on 6/24/2010 @ 9:01am
Haha, love it!

by KevinFreitas on 6/24/2010 @ 10:38am
Nick (above) just said "Everytime you use flash God kills a froggy." Haha!

by Non Sequitur on 6/24/2010 @ 8:09pm
All Hail Fozzie Bear!

How I miss the Muppet Show. Thank God for DVD.

by Altered Chords on 6/25/2010 @ 11:04am
Novice question here: How do we bring pizzaz to a website without flash?

by L.S.Erhardt on 6/25/2010 @ 11:16am
bitmaps

by KevinFreitas on 6/25/2010 @ 11:38am
@Altered: Content is king first and foremost. Nail who your audience is, what they want, and what you can offer. From there you can still do tons of great effects, motion, fades, etc. without the need for flash. The added benefit is for devices w/out flash those effects will still work.

by NineInchNachos on 6/25/2010 @ 11:42am
all you guys are wrong.

blink css

and

animated gifs


PIZAZZ UP THE PIZAU

by KevinFreitas on 6/25/2010 @ 2:36pm
*humbly bows down* How could I forget <blink>?! So much awesomeness, so little bandwidth...

by jenyum on 6/25/2010 @ 3:17pm
I don't think the average user even bothers to look a the flashy mcflashy stuff anymore, the eyes are trained to look for the content.

Cufon is the new flash. Sometimes you should just say no to the marketing dept.

Altered Chords: you can do some neat stuff with jquery. Or you know, not and just have engaging images and quality content with a visually pleasing design.