SCATS was chosen by a random winner this week

posted Aug 5, 2010
Scary Cinematic Aliens Talking Scooters
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What if theoretical particle physicists were the norm in our society like blue or white collar jobs are? Would their abundance permeate further through our daily lives as they take on roles behind-the-scenes like middle management, sales or marketing? That grocery store remark got me thinking about this and what the goods lining those oft Rascal-blocked aisles might look like if a multitude of Steven Hawking's were at the product brainstorming helm:

Unified Theory-O's -- The stays-crunchy-in-milk rings that rule them all!
Dark Matter Chocolate Bars -- It's full of stars!
Black Hole Sunchips -- Our bag isn't just compostable, it's singularity friendly!
String Theory Cheese -- A whole new dimension for dairy in your diet!
Gummy Worm Holes -- Transport yourself into a gooey world of candy fun!
Cap'n Big Crunch -- The last, best cereal in the universe!
Boson Baked Beans -- Fermilab tested, LHC approved!
Nestle's Quark -- The chocolaty, elemental part of every kids day!
Neutrino Grain Breakfast Bars -- The low mass start to your day you'll hardly know you ate at all!
Singularity Serving Pudding Snacks -- On sale now! Get them before time runs out!

Got anymore for this or other hyper-nerd occupations? Comment away below!

Also a huge congrats to Anna (@small_town on Twitter) for her suggestion of this week's duo. We held a contest last week via our Twitter account for folks to holler out pairs we might feature in this week's SCATS. Thanks for everyone who entered this week! Keep your eyes peeled there for future teasers, contests and behind-the-curtain goodness.


by izenmania on 8/5/2010 @ 8:45am
I'd like to open up a math grill. Steaks served median rare, with some red right in the middle. All our pis would be a la mode... served with whatever ice cream flavor we have the most of.

And because it wouldn't be a good restaurant without an eating contest, there's always the prime rib: it's free as long as you can eat it without dividing it between your friends.

Admittedly some of the dishes are a bit derivative, but I think that would be integral to its success.

by fredo on 8/5/2010 @ 9:21am
I'd like to open up a math grill (Izen)

Remember when ordering a 12 oz. steak to tell the waiter you want the meat to weight 340 grams.

by debivans on 8/5/2010 @ 10:38am
Name for the sci-fi establishment: Bar Trek. Not a whole lot of singles hooking up though.

by Crenshaw Sepulveda on 8/5/2010 @ 10:42am
izenmania, I think you may have a winning concept. No doubt desert would be pi.

by Leischen on 8/5/2010 @ 3:45pm
Niels Bohr danish- Don't worry about this tasty pastry adding to your hips. It'll go atomic on you and blow the fat off.

PS. Happy to see the return of the bear and the arm. Also, I am delighted to see the Rascal, that's a damn fine piece of machinery.

by L.S.Erhardt on 8/5/2010 @ 10:49pm
I'd like to see the SCATS attempt at resolving the Fermi Paradox.

by L.S.Erhardt on 8/5/2010 @ 11:45pm
At Bar Trek, we could have a mixed drink that will knock the bosons out of you. Call it the Hadron Collider...

by KevinFreitas on 8/6/2010 @ 7:31am
And if Bar Trek had a really garlic-laden item on the dinner menu it would surely have to be called the Deflector Dish. :)

by Joel 413 on 8/6/2010 @ 8:56am
The only problem is that at Bar Trek you can only go Number One.

by Droid16 on 8/6/2010 @ 10:16am
This Friday only, enjoy the sultry sounds of the Algo Rhythms.

by KevinFreitas on 8/11/2010 @ 1:10pm
@Joel & @Droid -- Nice ones 'gents!

by JoeFr8tus on 8/11/2010 @ 3:54pm
How about Milky Way? Too obvious...?

by KevinFreitas on 8/11/2010 @ 4:42pm
Never! Oldie but goodie, imho.